guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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