did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
