her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Boobs are out for the taking
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
