She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
