I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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