I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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