How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
