Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need to calm my uterus...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
