Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
