I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
