if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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