Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
