I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
