So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
