Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
