one two three fourrrrnication!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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