well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
babies were throwing up all over the place
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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