True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I didn't notice because vodka
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
