There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
