she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If I die, sorry about rent.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize