There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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