I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
