He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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