ADVERTISEMENT

• (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

  Fav 7 1953 1016

  share tweet
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...

  Fav 18 877 2437

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

  Fav 28 4453 1041

  share tweet
  

• (260): View more from Indiana

  Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?

  Fav 5 4262 1412

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I supposed to find that romantic?

  Fav 19 7157 2830

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am

  Fav 9 2465 873

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.

  Fav 24 1381 836

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.

  Fav 1 1135 689

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed

  Fav 3 819 522

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons

  Fav 1 315 582

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard

  Fav 0 140 80

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (347): View more from New York

  I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.

  Fav 0 8 33

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...

  Fav 0 6 29

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  How was that girls surprise party last night?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm

  Fav 0 24 8

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (719): View more from Colorado

  It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.

  Fav 0 185 64

  share tweet
  

Randomize