worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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