I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
