Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize