Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
