ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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