So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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