he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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