i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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