I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
