There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
