i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
