I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
