Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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