i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
