so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
