According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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