I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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