Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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