Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize