So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I want a musical about memes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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