she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think your dad took our porno
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
