Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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