i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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