you guys were way drunker than both of me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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