Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
