There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
