what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woke up backwards on a recliner
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
