the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
