whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
