Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize