it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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