i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Everyone says I win the strip club
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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