Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
