i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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