Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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