he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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