FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
