Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm too high and old for this...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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