return my video game
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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